Ten Prompts To Get You & Your partner Talking

by Cynthia Murphy | Jul 8, 2021 | Budget, Learning Center, Remodel, Uncategorized

Ten Prompts To Get You & Your partner Talking

Hey Friends,

Today I want to talk about having home remodeling conversations with our partners and more specifically, how we can communicate what our wants and needs are as we get started designing and planning.

You see, through the years of working with homeowner’s designing and planning projects, I found a handful of conversations that should happen between partners before you start the design and planning process. Having these solves almost every disagreement and stressful conversation during the process.

These tips on what to communicate about your project at the very beginning will make working together as a team, much, much easier.

Today, we’ll call these remodeling house rules.

First, let’s start by talking about the WHY.

I talk about your why during our initial consultation together, but before we have the conversation it’s the first talk you and your partner should have.

Asking questions like;

Why is this remodeling important to you?

Why should we do this now?

It’s surprising but most partners don’t talk about their WHY together privately, they wait until I ask the question.

In my experience partners make the assumption that they have the same reasons but most of the time they don’t have the same WHY for doing a remodeling project and they certainly don’t have the same HOW.

Let’s take a bathroom project, one of you may be looking for style and beauty while another just wants a bigger shower. Have you ever tried to convince someone that the color and shape of tile is important when all they care about is the size of the shower? It’s a losing proposition.

My rule #1 is don’t assume that this project is important in the same way to both of you.

Now by having the “Why” conversation behind you its easy to have the wants and needs conversation. You will each have your own reasons, and it ends up being what you want and what you need. Again, each person can be affected differently, so understanding your partners expectations can make the entire process much less stressful.

The Wants and Needs conversation will lay out how much compromise and negotiation you are going to be making during your design and planning decisions.

My experience is give your partner what they want and they usually don’t have a problem letting you have what you need. Within reason.

Rule # 2 is critical.

It’s really important to hear what each other thinks about what they want and what they need. And Rule # 2 is preparing you for the biggest Rule of them all;

Rule #3 The Who, which in turn becomes the money.

I have worked with many a client who thought they would be able to change their partners mind on the How and The Who.

They work hard on all the design and planning, make all the selections, getting all the way to the finish line of the build contract and then it happens…the other partner shuts it down.

More projects have ended up on the shelf not moving forward because one partner does all the work while the other partner sits back and watches.

In the end they veto the project because there was no shared Why, no shared How, and no shared Who and How Much.

When this happens eventually the offending partner has to come clean that they don’t think the project is important and it can be traced back to the (3)rules above and not having the discussions.

Not worth the financial investment they say. (They didn’t have a Why for the project so they couldn’t come together with a How or Who)

Be prepared to compromise and negotiate.

Now, imagine if you are the partner who just worked on all the design and planning; how would you feel in that moment?

I have seen this first hand, and you know how they feel; resentful, angry, not respected, not heard…less than.

Be aware that different people are affected by visual surroundings.

Don’t be surprised to hear things like; I don’t even notice the tile, or the vanity looks great what’s wrong with it?

Compromise and Negotiations is a natural part of the design and planning process.

Once you have each others point of view on WHY the remodel is important, HOW you each thinks it needs to be fixed and you’re setting a ballpark range for the financial investment you are ready to get started!

(Note: Not agreeing on the exact HOW at this point is completely normal, that typically gets worked out during the design and planning process through compromise and negotiation.)

Recap;

Flush out these (3) questions with each other;

WHY does this project need to happen?

HOW or WHAT needs to happen?

WHO do we need to hire to make this happen and how much are we comfortable spending?

These (3) questions will set you up for a design and planning process where you understand each other, gather critical information, and make great decisions.

The information will be prepare you to take on design and planning conversations that will unite you as a team and not put a wedge between you.

We have created 10 Prompts to make these conversations easy and productive and get you and your partner talking about your remodel project.

Thanks for stopping by and we’ll catch you in the next post.

Cindy Murphy

About the Author

Cynthia Murphy

Cynthia Murphy is a Certified Kitchen and Bath Remodelers in Northern Virginia. She owns and operates Murphy’s Design with her husband John and daughter Lauren. Her 40 year career has focused on providing homeowners with the answers they need to make smart emotional and financial decisions around their wants and needs.

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2021 Supply Chain Disruptions

by Cynthia Murphy | May 20, 2021 | Budget, Learning Center, Remodel

2021 Supply Chain Disruptions

And how they’ll impact your remodel, decorating, and other home improvement projects…

2020 was an interesting year for everyone, and the remodeling industry was no exception. In March when we prepared ourselves for the worst as Northern Virginia was being shut down we ended up being met with an avalanche of new remodeling projects. From Kitchens to Home Offices we started seeing requests for it all and things haven’t slowed down since.

It’s been just over a year and the requests continue to flow in, unfortunately 2021 came with material shortages and disruption to supply chains.

Here’s our thoughts from being on the frontline;

What items are being most affected?

Appliances
Lumber
Furnishings

Appliances

The problem with appliances is a simple one and it comes down to supply and demand. When manufacturers prepared to shut down last spring they estimated that there would be far less spending because of the economy shutting down. It ended up being the opposite. Many Americans purchased extra refrigerators, freezers, and started remodeling projects in order to make their homes more livable since they saw themselves stuck in them for the foreseeable future. Add to that scaled back production due to new COVID-19 safety precautions in factories and some manufacturers closing altogether created backlogs as long as 8-16 weeks or more.

The best way to deal with the appliance delays is to be aware and plan in advance.

Don’t toss out your old working appliances until you have the new ready to install.
Do your research on appliances early in your remodeling planning
Order them as soon as you know and lock down the pricing.
Check with several suppliers
Take delivery immediately

Lumber

The lumber shortage won’t be going away anytime soon. However this is one item that they do expect the cost to come back down sometime in 2022. For most of our remodeling clients this isn’t a factor as we typically work within an existing space and don’t need to purchase large quantities of lumber. Decking, Additions, and New Home construction have been more severely disrupted. If you were thinking of buying a new home or a large addition you might consider focusing on working within your existing footprint. It’s also a good time to complete the planning but wait to do the building. If you were considering a remodel but think you might hold off for the price to come back down, that’s a bet I wouldn’t make. The cost of lumber is going to add gasoline to an already burning remodeling market and demand will continue to drive pricing.

Start planning for your remodel
If you were thinking of building a new home remodeling might be more attractive now
Cabinetry, Doors and Flooring have also been affected lock in pricing as soon as you have your decision
Low housing stock will add gasoline to an already burning remodeling market and the demand will continue to drive pricing, moving forward now could save you money in the long run
Use the increased equity in your home, low interest rates and today’s prices to work in your favor.

Home Furnishings

Did you ever imagine it would take 20 weeks to replace that old sofa? Home furnishings are one of the manufacturing groups hit hardest by 2020 shut downs. Add to that the amount of furniture built or parts sourced on foreign soil and you’ve got a recipe for long waits. Like appliances these tips may help but beware of paying in full for furnishings a 50-50 deposit would be smart or taking advantage of the stores finance programs that don’t kick in until delivery.

Order early, now if you want them for the holidays in 2021.
Order In Stock options
Order from Made in America Suppliers

Mostly, we all have to show patience as companies get back to a full production schedule. Manufacturing workers need to return to their jobs and the raw materials need to start flowing with more regularity. Here at Murphy’s Design we order everything much earlier than we ever did before, we store it for months waiting for a job to start, and we nail down the budget in the first two weeks of the design and planning stage so furnishings and materials can be purchased without ever increasing prices.

Contact Cynthia Murphy Now

Home Do We Figure Out Our Remodel Budget?

by Cynthia Murphy | Sep 16, 2019 | Budget, Learning Center, Remodel

Home Do We Figure Out Our Remodel Budget?

Figuring Out Your Budget (updated 6.5.18)

It’s a big day, you have decided to remodel your kitchen, bathroom or another important room in your home.

You’ve probably already tried to answer this question with google. You type in “How much does a bathroom remodel cost” for example, and the results are endless and overwhelming.

You’ll quickly learn that the cost of a remodel starts with your location. So you enter in your location and your results diminish a little bit but not much and you’re quickly buried in search results that don’t make you feel any better. The key to creating an effective remodel budget is not spending countless hours getting estimates but instead by fine tuning a budget range that you can be comfortable with.

Five Major Factors In Remodeling Costs

There are 5 Major factors in how much it will cost to remodel a bathroom or kitchen. They are;

1. Where: your location

Where you live is one of the biggest influences on overall cost. The best source of information based on where you are located is

http://www.remodeling.hw.net/cost-vs-value/2018/

This report is compiled each year by location. It gives both a national average and your regional information. It’s a great starting point!

2. What: the details of the work you want done

What you want to have done? We call this the “scope of work” and the best resource for that is speaking with your local professionals who have completed projects similar to yours. Most can provide you with a low to high range with a detailed discussion.

3. Size: the overall square footage of the room

Size matters. A local Remodeler who specializes in your project can give you an excellent range based on your square footage. This works particularly well for Bathroom Remodels.

4. Quality: the products and workmanship you expect

This will ultimately cause great fluctuations in your final cost. Understanding the cost between the different materials is the best way to manage the overall budget. Focus on the Construction cost because material cost can be managed.

5. Who: the professional you ultimately hire

Hiring a professional that fits the scope of work you want done with all the licensing and insurance that is required. Hiring a handyman for a complete gut remodel or a company specializing in additions to design a simple pull and replace kitchen will cause you to spend more in the long run then getting a professional who specializes in exactly what you are looking for.

How do we fine tune our remodel budget?

The most important factors will be;

1.What you are comfortable spending?

You should have an idea of what you would be comfortable investing in the project before talking to anyone. Present your thoughts as a range, such as; “we were thinking of investing 30-40k”. Then begin by asking if yours is a reasonable expectation. How they answer will be a clue to whether you are; in the ballpark, material considerations, and how easy they will be to work with. Make sure you are speaking to professionals who specialize in your projects work.

2.Do you feel like you have a partner in developing your project around your comfort level?

Starting the planning of your project with open and honest conversations around spending is very important to developing trust. Not every client has an open ended budget so working back from your comfort zone can be an effective way to establish a budget. It’s important that your choice of Remodeler respects your boundaries around cost. If you choose to spend more on any item that is your decision to make once you have all the specific details and can review the importance to you. A process like this leads to feeling confident that you have selected the right person to help guide you, someone who has your best interests at heart and will be upfront about ways to keep the cost in line.

What Happens If What We Want Is Too Expensive?

First, make sure that you are looking at the right team of professionals. There are many times when a client calls us for a project and in talking with them during our *FREE* Virtual Consultation I can give them guidance on who would be the right team. Here at Murphy’s Design we specialize in Master Bathrooms and Kitchen’s with a focus on making changes to the floor plan through design. Minor Bathroom updates would not use our greatest skills but we have great partners who can handle these items. During our conversation I can offer expert guidance on possible solutions for trimming the fat off the budget.

Even major remodeling has cost considerations. When doing large projects look at the project as a whole and make compromises in the materials or finishes you select. In other words, don’t over design without taking the time to go back and make sure your decisions are really providing the best value for the dollars. Often you can select products with the same look, feel and quality for much less. Products such as sinks, tile, and lighting are great examples of these types of materials. Next, looking at alternative floor plans can often achieve your project goals without some of the expensive modifications. A wonderful example of this is taking down walls. It is almost always possible. However, the cost to completely remove a wall can vary greatly depending on your particular home. I have done many projects where we modified the amount of wall we removed or how we created the structural support to still open up the room but in the end save thousands of dollars.

Final Thoughts

The right budget for your project needs to to be developed, having an ally with the experience and access to up to date information during the planning stages is crucial. I believe it is my job to open and honest and guide and educate you as we are designing your project. Through years of experience I have learned that an educated customer is happier overall. Seek out those types of professionals and that’s how you will find the right budget for your project.

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